Performance Reviews: Episode 2.08

208performancereview-bigger“Performance Reviews”
Season 2 Episode 8
Air Date: November 15, 2005
Writer: Larry Wilmore
Summary:
It’s time for Michael yearly evaluation of the staff, too bad he’s preoccupied with recent events with Jan. Jim and Pam work to kept Dwight thinking it’s the wrong day.

1. Supplemental Materials
Pam Pong Scorecard, transcript at OfficeQuotes.net

2. Quick Recap
Cold Open – Fitness Orb: Dwight has replaced his office chair with an exercise ball, annoying Jim as he touts the benefits of the ball (strong core, more enjoyable sex) and knocking things over with his bouncing. Jim gets quickly feed up and pops the fitness orb with some scissors.
Company Wide Performance Reviews: Michael is suppose to be reviewing the performance of his entire staff, but he’s too busy thinking about his recent hook-up with Jan. He calls in Pam and then Stanley to evaluate Jan’s voicemail. Jan comes in for Michael’s performance review and makes it very clear she will only be talking business, but Michael keeps steering everything back the night they kissed.
Weekly Suggestion Box Meeting: In an effort to impress Jan, Michael hold the weekly suggestion box meeting when she comes it. Only problem is there hasn’t actually been a such a meeting in years. The comments in the box are either very old or were written to tease Michael. The meeting abruptly ends when one comment reads “Don’t sleep with your boss.”
“Because I’m Awesome”: After pumping himself up with metal music and karate moves, Dwight walks into Michael’s office to make his case for a raise. However, Jan is still there and Dwight keeps inadvertently referring to her and Michael’s hook-up, causing Jan to walk out.
“Dwight thinks it’s Friday, so keep that going”: It’s Thursday, but when Jim finds out Dwight thinks it’s Friday, he and Pam pair up and keep Dwight thinking it’s the wrong day by talking about their weekend plans and discussing what happened on Thursday night TV. The ruse is successful as Dwight shows up hours late to work the next day.

2A: Flonkerton Medal Ceremony
The “No Inner-office Relationships” Medal: Many companies have a policy against inner-office relationships, and Michael’s behavior shows exactly why office hook-ups more often-than-not a bad idea.

Previous Episode: 207 The Client | Next Episode: 209 Email Surveillance

3. Flonkerton’s Favorite Quotes
Pam TH: It’s performance review day, company-wide. Last year, my performance review started with Michael asking me what my hopes and dreams were, and it ended with him telling me he could bench-press 190 pounds. So, I don’t really know what to expect.

Jim TH: Today is Thursday. But Dwight thinks that it’s Friday. And that’s what I’ll be working on this afternoon.

Michael TH: My boss is coming in today, the lovely Jan Levinson-Gould will, well, no Gould. The Gould has been swack, divorced. Um, the awkward part is that this will be the first time that we’ll be seeing each other since, well, uh, it was really nothing. We just sort of got caught up in the moment. The vulnerable divorcee gives herself to the understanding, with rugged good-looks, office manager. Just, uh, she didn’t want it to continue for some reason. It, we both, I didn’t want it, we both didn’t want it to continue. Was not professional. Um, when people say something’s mutual, it never is. But this was mutual.

Stanley: Sometimes women say more in their pauses than they say in their words.
Michael: Really?
Stanley: Oh, yes. Let’s listen to it again. And this time, really listen to the pauses.
Michael: God, Stanley, that’s frickin’ brilliant. How do you know that? Did you learn that on the streets? Sorry.
Stanley: Oh, no, that’s ok. I did learn it on the streets. On the ghetto, in fact.
Michael: No kidding.
Stanley TH: It’s all about my bonus.

Pam: Michael and Jan definitely made out.
Jim: Ohh…
Pam: Maybe more.
Jim: Eck!… Oh! Also, it is Thursday, but Dwight thinks it’s Friday. So, keep that going.
Pam: Oh, yay!

Angela TH: I actually look forward to performance reviews. I did the youth beauty pageant circuit. And I enjoyed that quite a bit. I really enjoy being judged. I believe I hold up very well to even severe scrutiny.

Ryan: Don’t you mean constructive criticism?
Michael: What did I say?
Kelly: You said “constructive complements”; that doesn’t make any sense.
Michael: Well, Kelly, that was neither constructive nor a compliment, so maybe you should stop criticizing my English and start making some suggestions. ‘K?

Michael TH: I’m a little confused. ‘Cause first it’s all like kissy-kissy. And then it’s like all regret. Because “Oh, I regret that.” But, “Wait, I’m still gonna call you.” But, but, “We’re just gonna talk business. And I may come down and fire you if you don’t do your job.” But what were talking about when we first kissed? Business.

Michael: This is a business question. It’s nothing personal, I promise.
Jan: Fine.
Michael: Are you wearing a new perfume today?
Jan: How is that a business question?
Michael: Well, you’re wearing it at the office. And I’m sorry, but no offense, but it’s really sexy.
Jan: Please don’t smell me, Michael.

Pam: Michael, it’s time for the suggestion box meeting.
Michael: I’m kind of in the middle of something. I wish you wouldn’t interrupt.
Pam: You told me to buzz you about the suggestion box meeting when Jan was here.
Michael: I did not, not, not use those words.

Michael: Why are we here? Because I value your opinions. Now, I know a lot of don’t think that I read your suggestions, but I do. I just sift through them every week and I really look and scrutinize to see what you guys are writing. Um, so, let’s, uh, just read some of these suckers. Alright. Number one: “What should we do to prepare for Y2K?”
Dwight: What should we do to prepare for Y2K?
Kelly: I thought you read these every week.

Michael: See, this is good, we’re learning and we’re figuring some stuff out. “You need to do something about your coffee breath”-
Dwight: You need to do something about-
Michael: Shut up, shut up, shut up, Dwight, OK. I don’t think you people are grasping the concept of the suggestion box.
Angela: Sometimes you talk to us real close.
Michael: Yeah, is that hard for you? Alright, well-
Angela: Well, when you have coffee breath-

Dwight: I even come in on holidays.
Michael: You do? How do you get in?
Dwight: I have a copy of your key.
Jan: That’s a serious offense!
Michael: That is a serious offense. Very serious. As is toying with a man’s heart.
Jan: Oh Michael, for God sakes!

4. Trivia

  • Dwight’s “fitness orb” was suppose to deflate slowly, but John Krasinski hit a seam, causing it to pop, and the take was used.
  • Jan’s message was not a recording, but was actually Melora Hardin (Jan) speaking live into a phone. There’s a blooper showing Steve Carell having fun with that fact.
  • The writer of this episode, Larry Wilmore, appears as Mr. Brown in “Diversity Day”

5. Grade this episode

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