Season 2 Episode 7
Air Date: November 8, 2005
Writer: Paul Lieberstein
Summary: While Michael and Jan are at a meeting with a potential client, the staff has a reading of an action movie screenplay Pam discovered in Michael’s desk.
2. Quick Recap
Cold Opener – Michael and his jeans: When Ryan picks up Michael’s jeans from the dry cleaners, Pam talks about the ridiculous boost of confidence Michael’s Levis give him before hiding the jeans under her desk.
Chili’s – Where Business Happens: Jan is in town to join Michael in a pitch for a major potential client: the whole of Lackawanna county. Jan is hoping to keep everything professional but Michael goes a more casual route by taking county rep Christian to Chili’s and telling borderline jokes over margaritas and Awesome Blossoms. To Jan’s shock, Christian turns out to have a similar sense of humor to Michael and Dunder Mifflin lands the account.
Agent Michael Scarn of the FBI: Pam happens upon a screenplay in Michael’s desk and Jim quickly organizes a table reading of “Threat Level Midnight”. The whole office joins in reading the wish-fulfillment Bond-esque action script featuring Agent Scarn, his lover Catherine Zeta-Jones, and his nemesis Goldenface. The reading abruptly stops though when Dwight figures out the bubbling assistant Samuel L Chang is based on him.
“What Happened to Gould?”: Jan is recently divorced and after the high of landing a major new account, she kisses Michael and they go to a hotel together. The next day, Michael thinks he has a new girlfriend, but Jan blames it on drinks and feeling vulnerable and has no interest is dating Michael.
Swaying Isn’t Dancing: Stuck late at the office, Jim and Pam share a roof-top dinner of his famous grilled cheese, and then share ear buds listening to music. The next day, Jim suggests it was like their first date, but Pam brushes off the suggestion and Jim mutters it was better than her and Roy’s disastrous first date. Pam is offended, walking off before Jim gets a chance to say anything.
2A: Flonkerton Medal Ceremony
The “Not-Totally Incompetent” Medal: While both the office and the audience think Michael is a dolt, he actually displays excellent salesmanship with Christian from the county, the first of many indications Michael is just a victim of the Peter Principle.
3. Flonkerton’s Favorite Quotes
Ryan: Hey, have they left for the big meeting yet? I’ve got Michael’s lucky tie.
Jim: No. They’re in the conference room.
Pam: Wait, are those Michael’s Levis?
Ryan: Yeah, who dry-cleans jeans?
Pam Talking Head: Michael and his jeans. He gets in them, and I’m not exactly sure what happens. But I can tell you, he loves the way he looks in those jeans. I know that’s why he started casual Fridays.
Jan: This is a projection of the county’s needs…
Michael: Wow, graphs and charts, somebody’s really been doing their homework. Looks like USA Today.
Michael: Jan Levinson-Gould. Jan is cold. If she was sitting across from you on a train and she wasn’t moving, you might think she was dead.
Jim: Is this real?
Pam: It is a screenplay. Starring himself.
Jim: Agent Michael Scarn.
Pam: Of the FBI.
Jim: How long is this? [flips through pages] Oh, Pam. Good work! Wait, stop. Drawings.
Pam: What is that?
Jim: Oh, those are drawings. In case the writing didn’t really put a picture in your head. And there he is, in the flesh, Agent Michael Scarn. Now we know what he looks like.
Michael: First guy says “Well, I’m an astronaut, so I drive a Saturn”. And the second guy says, “Well, I am a pimp, so I drive a cheap Escort”. And the third guy says “I gotcha both beat, I’m a proctologist, so I drive a brown Probe”.
Christian: Ohhh no! Oh my God, that’s funny! I almost had Awesome Blossom coming out of my nose!
Jan: [to waitress] Excuse me, could I have a vodka tonic, please?
Christian: Well, we are out to save money.
Jan: What’s the bottom line?
Michael: Bop! Be blah bop, be boo boo bop.
Michael TH: That’s why I wanted a signal, between us, so that I wouldn’t have to just shout non-sense words. That’s her fault.
Jim: [reading the screenplay] Inside the FBI, Agent Michael Scarn sits with his feet up on his desk. Catherine Zeta Jones enters.
Phyllis: Sir, you have some messages.
Dwight: Not now!
Phyllis: They’re important.
Dwight: Ok, what are they?
Phyllis: First message is: “I love you”. That’s from me.
Dwight: Not in a thousand years, Catherine. We work together. And get off my desk.
Dwight: If it isn’t my old partner, Samuel L. Chang.
Ryan: Agent Michael Scarn, you lost some weight.
Dwight: Thank you for noticing. Now keep me company for one more mission.
Pam: [to Roy] Hey, uh, I have to work late.
Roy: [looks around conference room] You’re joking right?
Jim: Michael Scarn takes out a nine-millimeter gun and shoots the-
Dwight: Pow! Pow! Pow!
Ryan: Hahaha, Agent Michael Scarn, you so funny. Word.
Dwight: Samuel, you are such an idiot, you are the worst assistant ever. And you’re disgusting, Dwigt. [out of character] Wait, who’s Dwigt?
Pam TH: Here’s what we think happened. Michael’s sidekick, who all through the movie is this complete idiot who’s causing the downfall of the United States, was originally named Dwight. But then Michael changed it to Samuel L. Chang using a search and replace, but that doesn’t work on misspelled words, leaving behind one Dwigt. And Dwight figured it out. Oops.
Dwight TH: D-W-I-G-H-T!
Jan: He didn’t want kids, but I knew that going into it. But he also knew that I did. I guess I thought that he would change his mind; he thought that I would change mine.
Christian: You didn’t.
Jan: I was stupid.
Michael: No, you were not stupid. Gould was stupid. Right?
Christian: That’s right. You were really brave! You, you put your arms out there, you slit your wrists. You said “World, this is my blood! It’s red, just like yours. So love me!”
Jim: Jan didn’t come back for her car last night.
Jim: Could it be that Agent Michael Scarn has finally found his Catherine Zeta?
- Though Michael’s claims Chili’s is “a couple block away,” the closest Chili’s to Downtown Scranton is about 30 minutes away in Wilkes-Barre.
- The closeup of the script reveals the employees read the lines out of order.
- Originally a professional artist drew Michael’s illustrations for Threat Level: Midnight, but the drawing were considered too good to be something Michael did, so executive producer Greg Daniels drew them himself.
- The producers tried to obtain permission to use the Rolling Stones tongue logo for his tie, but they were unsuccessful and a generic drawing was used.
- The song that Jim and Pam
dancesway to is “Sing” by Travis. Originally, a song by Interpol was going to be used.
- Devon is visible in a deleted scene, indicating this episode was suppose to air before “Halloween.”
- In a deleted scene, Jim described his worst first date. He talks about going to Cugino’s with a girl he got along really well with, but then found out she was “in love with someone else.” It clear he’s talking about Pam.
- Foreshadowing to future episodes: This is not the last we hear of Agent Michael Scarn, many references are made to the ridiculous tale which cumulates in Season 7 with Michael premiering his homemade movie to his co-workers.
5. Grade this episode