Random Poll: Office Ailments

This is the “Random Poll Question of the Week” series where I post a relatively pointless question and poll just for fun, and to keep us busy until Season 4 starts.

This week’s topic: Employee Illnesses
Alcoholism, anal fissures, gluttony; the employees of Dunder Mifflin suffer from several different ailments. Too bad they have such a crappy health plan. Here are some of the worst illnesses and ailments that Dunder Mifflinites suffer from.

Meredith – alcoholism

Whether it’s slipping vodka in her water cup, stowing a spare bottle in her van, or even resorting to licking hand sanitizer, Meredith is much more than a “social drinker”, more like she’s just a couple more indecent exposures away from an intervention.

Creed – too much partying in the 60’s

It’s clear Creed partied just a little too hardy in the days of draft dodging, free love, and outdoor festivals, leaving his mind so baked he still thinks LBJ is president, has no idea what anyone’s name is, and that Jim is a hallucination.

Jim – agoraphobia

Like Karen said, Jim would rather sit on his couch and watch baseball games than go out to a movie his awesome girlfriend. Good for his wallet, bad for his social life.

Dwight – inability to separate reality from fantasy

As I wrote in my Office resolutions post, Dwight love of sci-fi and fantasy seems to have affected his perception to the point that he thinks he can get faxes from himself in the future, that people can move things with their minds, and that a bite from a bat really can turn you into a vampire. So far only Jim and Pam have used this attribute of Dwight’s to play harmless pranks on him. but in the wrong hands, Dwight could be in trouble.

Michael – constant need of attention

Though I doubt anyone could claim it on their insurance, Michael’s need to be the center of attention is so bad, he could probably use some medication. He dubs himself handicapped after clamping his foot in a Foreman grill, always tries to one-up guest speakers and lecturers, and all but ruins Phyllis’ wedding with his attention-getting tactics. Someone put some aspirin in his pudding, quick.

It’s time to vote!

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