This is the “Random Poll Question of the Week” series where I post a relatively pointless question and poll just for fun, and to keep us busy until Season 4 starts.
This week’s topic: The hook-ups we’ll never, ever see.
Even though The Office has been accused of having too many inter-office hook-ups, it’s far from a soap opera. Here are a few pairings that are probably as likely to happen as Ed Truck coming back from the dead.
*note: There’s not a lot of rhyme or reason to these pairings, except I wanted to used everyone only once, and I also tried to pair people that do have some contact on a regular basis, but still would never hook up no matter how drunk they were.
Pam and Michael
why it’s never gonna happen: Once in a while Pam will humble Michael by returning hugs and encouraging him, but whenever it spins into “more than coworker” territory, Pam shoots him down without a bat of an eye.
Jim and Meredith
why it’s never gonna happen: Tall, funny, laid back, good looking; Jim doesn’t exactly have trouble attracting the ladies, so going for Meredith out of desperation is highly unlikely. He also has generally gone for “good girls”, which once again rules Meredith out.
Dwight and Jan
why it’s never gonna happen: Jan greets Dwight with borderline disdain whenever they see each other. It not like it’s disdain from pent up sexual tension either, it’s just plain disdain.
Angela and Creed
why it’s never gonna happen: Even though Angela’s kind of kinky, and clearly Creed’s been around the block, Creed has probably broken one too many of the Ten Commandments for Angela to ever be interested.
Phyllis and Stanley
why it’s never gonna happen: Aside from them both being happily married, there’s never been any hint these two have any interest in each other. Nothing can take Stanley from those crosswords either.
Kelly and Toby
why it’s never gonna happen: I’m sure the worst part of Toby’s day is remembering he has to work in the back with Kelly all day. He would sooner shot himself than hook up with Kelly, and Toby doesn’t seem like the celebrity-obsessed Kelly’s type at all.
Oscar and Kevin
why it’s never gonna happen: Aside from the sexual orientation difference, Kevin is too large, immature and uncultured for Oscar to have any attraction to him. Even if Kevin were into men, I’m sure he would still laugh the whole time.
Karen and Andy
why it’s never gonna happen: Every comment that Andy makes about being great pals with Karen, or even hinting there’s some unrequited feelings there, makes it all the more obvious Karen has shot down Andy on several occations.
Ryan and any woman at Dunder Mifflin Scranton (besides Kelly)
why it’s never gonna happen: Ryan’s been promoted to corporate, he’s moving to New York, and I’m sure he’s going to distant himself from DM Scranton as much as he can.